Food is My Friend.... Right?!

Hi my name is Rachelle Evans, about a year ago I was officially diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Holli and I were introduced through Holli's sister Meagen whom I work with at Doba. Over the past year Holli has really been a shoulder to cry on or in many other ways a leg to stand on. I can't imagine what going through fibro alone feels like. When you have Fibro it does feel like you are completely alone even if everyone around you has it, it is a rough internal enemy that is always learning and adapting on how to attack you next. I will go through a lot more of my battle later, as of right now I would rather touch on the challenge that is staring me in the face right now, food.
Over the last 4 months I went from being able to eat anything in the world, in very large amounts... To so terrified to take a bite that I am drinking alot of slimfast just to make sure I get nutrients. If you know me, the last can you expect to see in my hand is a dietary supplemental drink. The best parts about life is food, whenever their is a celebration, food is normally something that is hand in hand ready to feed ya!
I dont want to get into it too much about what happens to the food after I eat it but I want to explain the struggle between losing such a good friend in this on going fight..
When I was young I would always ask for food for Birthdays and Christmas, yes I got fed plenty as a child but the thought of owning my own jar of pickles, or having an entire loaf of French bread to myself just made me happier the some lame doll or something. Still to this day, my mother, grandparents and siblings expect to make a pan of brownies, cinnamon rolls or mom's famous chocolate chip cookies. I believe one year I even asked for a pot of homemade chicken soup. I am pretty pathetic I know, I am just trying to help you get the picture of how much food is apart of me. In elementary school I was once asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said "a bakers wife" NO LIE.. Anyways, I am really starting to drool thinking about all this so I want to head to what has torn me and my best friend (sorry Ryan, I am talking about food) apart..
Irritable Bowel Syndrome or IBS has now came into my life, when i first heard about such a thing I was horrified, I had sworn my life would be over if I ever had to restrict what I ate or had to only cook food that came out of a certain book. I really blocked out the idea that it could ever happen to me, even though I read article and article about how it is normal for IBS to come hand in hand with Fibro I would secretly thank God that he understood that I was way too weak to be able to handle that challenge and that he could throw the rest of this stuff at me all day long as long as I could eat normally.. But things were getting too good, I had really started to find the right combo of meds that worked for my fibro, the sun was shinning outside and I was not wishing I was in bed all day, so I was on top of the world. Then it started happening, this grueling rumble in my stomach, very low at first, went on for days at a time. Then it turned into a washing machine inside my gut, I started spending much more time in the bathroom just to make sure that if I need the toilet, it is there.. Slowly the bathroom started being my most visited room in the house, more so then the kitchen or some nights, spent more time there then my bed. :( Now, anyone who has Fibro knows how important sleep is. I dont care how many drugs I take for the day, nothing will make up for the feeling you get when you body is not willing to be up and awake. Now, I want to clarify a few things, I wasn't going to the bathroom that whole time, some nights it was just wishing you could, so you would sit there for hours.. I know this is a horrible topic to discuss with anyone besides your Doctor, but I just want to mention that I have lost one of my best friends, but after several months I have determined, it is not worth it, that friend didnt want me to be happy anymore, he wanted me to be miserable. I have kept a journal of what I eat and figure out what does well for me and what doesnt, sadly none of the foods I really want to eat are on my safe list. But just the little changes have helped like trying to only drink water, I had a glass of milk on Sunday and within an hour I was running to the bathroom, just to be greatly disappointed.. All the fun stuff like loaves of french bread and a plate of cookies are on the bad list. Lets hope that I am not going to lose my friend, just reinvent our relationship. I think since this article has literally been a "shitty" one I will write one soon that will make up for it. Thanks for letting me vent Holli, I think it is great what you are doing. Even if it just helps me out.. I am stoked ;)